Just like last year, at this exact, particular point in time, Depression with a capital 'D', totally overwhelms me. It's as if a HUGE, BIG BOULDER is weighing my heart down. It's so inexplicable, really, but several issues are still playing their roles as the culprits. Firstly, like last year, there are the looming medical follow-ups, which I have to undergo pretty soon. The mere thought of fulfilling these appointments, is enough to give me the shivers! Secondly, the 'on-going situation' revolving around this household and the uncertainty of it all, is enough to give me the jitters! Thirdly, being 'coerced' now, into doing 'certain unthinkable and nerve-wrecking chores' is slowly eating up my sanity! Lastly, the same 'not-so-encouraging' performance, academically-speaking, of a certain being, is also affecting my sense of well-being! Much as I hate to think about all these issues, I still keep on thinking about them. AND much as I resolve to disregard them and ask them to 'go and fly kites', they still make their presence felt deep within, and also, all around me. Ya Allah Ya Rabbi Ya Tuhanku, please bestow upon me the will-power and strength to ignore all these negative thoughts and to withstand the pain that they bring along with them.....Please!
Healthwise for me, it's been the pits, naturally. All the above-mentioned negative thoughts have triggered quite a bit of 'pain', here, there and everywhere. Are they just mere figments of my imagination? Oh, I don't know! Nonetheless, the usual 'vertigo', 'flatulence' and the 'discomfort' felt in the left underarm region, have really made their presence felt, much to my utter dismay! SIGH! To add the icing upon the cake, so to speak, I was down with diarrhoea for a few days in early May. It was horrible, needless to say!
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