.....Turning Three Score And Five Years.....

I turned three score and five years old on Monday, 04.08.2014. Syukur Alhamdulillah. Despite everything, I'm still blessed with the gift of life. Like I've ventilated before, my health condition hasn't been good, since my brush with CA in 2009 and more so since I turned 64 last year, when I was plagued with the dreaded E-Coli Sepsis and more recently, with DM.....I now have to depend on various prescribed medications in order to still live a sort of 'comfortable life', so to speak. I reckon these are the 'gifts ' that Allah SWT has bestowed upon puny me, and who am I to question His decision? 

These days I'm facing life, one day at a time, always armed with a positive attitude, albeit I do succumb to utter helplessness and despair, and to be at wit's end, at times. But then, I've never said that it's going to be easy, right? Like the perennial old saying goes, "Whenever there's Life, there's still Hope!" So, don't ever give up, my dear Hasnah!

.....When I turned 64.....

After I turned 64 on 04.08.2013, I noticed that my health condition had begun to go downhill. Apart from my primary health concern, which had been with me since 26.06.2009, I started having problems with my digestive system. Due to the consumption of some highly tainted raw food in mid November 2013, I was plagued with the E-Coli Sepsis Syndrome. I landed myself in the ICU at HSA, JB for three days, and became a patient at the Pusat Perubatan 1 Wing for a week (14.11.13 - 21.11.13). Those were indeed the darkest days of my life and to add the icing upon the cake, I was also diagnosed with another hereditary chronic ailment, that is, the celebrated DM. How 'low' can anyone go?
  

During these past seven months, I've been fighting my battles 'alone'. No one can really understand and feel everything that I've been, and still am going through. Chronic fatigue has become my middle name and I really have to watch whatever I put in my mouth, these days. The worst thing that I have to endure is having a pair of considerably 'weak legs'. I have to constantly massage them with the appropriate medication so as to attain some measure of relief. Sigh!  

Today marks the seventh 'anniversary' of my admission into the ICU in HSA, JB. Reckon I won't be forgetting so easily the 14th day of every month, these days.

As always, despite everything, I truly feel blessed for the simple mercies and blessings in my life. Thank you Allah SWT. Syukur Alhamdulillah. Ameen.....

                  

.....A New Addition.....

I have a new addition to my list of health issues. During my review visit to the KKTSO on Sunday, 27.04.14, I told the attending Doctor, Dr Ko Eng Hea, of my weak legs and knees. Walking and squatting, especially leave me with a lot of excruciating pain. She was quick to attribute it to a very common old age-related phenomenon, that is osteoarthritis. Oh my! I am getting 'ancient' already, although I always believe that I'm still 'young' - young at heart, perhaps? Anyway, she prescribed Calcium tablets for me, besides asking me to continue with my daily brisk walking. As for my DM problem, she was pleased to note that I'm controlling it well. My blood, according to her is also alright now. Hence, I no longer have to consume the iron tablets. Syukur Alhamdulillah.

So now, I avoid sugar like the plague, cut down tremendously on my intake of carbohydrates, avoid fried, oily, hot and spicy stuff , take a lot of greens and fruits and increase my consumption of calcium rich food. As for milk, I'm taking the rather expensive Glucerna. But then, price is not an issue here. Good health, no matter what it costs is of utmost importance to me.

.....My battle with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.....

One very obvious side effect of my encounter with the E-Coli Sepsis Syndrome in mid November 2013, is that I have to battle with chronic fatigue almost on a daily basis. Never a day passes by that I don't feel tired and listless.....only the degree of discomfort seems to vary. I also feel that my legs have become considerably weaker than before. I have to resort to wearing 'knee guards' as well as 'calf guards' to help me move around comfortably. Oh, dearie me! To add the icing upon the cake, I also have to face the fact that my stomach has become very weak and can no longer handle hot and spicy foodstuff. On Saturday, 29th March 2014, I was down with an acute tummy ache, diarhoea and vomiting , the result of eating extra hot chicken sambal. The tummy ache triggered a very high fever. I had to visit the doctor at KKTSO. Luckily I felt better after taking the appropriate medication. Now, I really have to shun hot and spicy foodstuff like the plague. Another health issue that I'm faced with, straight in its face, is insomnia. Sigh! These are some of the health issues that I have to contend with of late, besides the ongoing major health problems that I've been blessed with. How much more can my 64 year old body constitution take? Only Allah SWT knows and He's not telling.....

.....It's no joke, having to contend with two dysfunctional families.....

I feel very, very sad to say that since 2010, I've noticed a very noticeable change in the attitude of my remaining siblings. For the record, the Rahim Progeny consists of 9 roses and a thorn. Two roses have long wilted - Rodziah in 1979 and Roseana in 2010, whilst the one and only thorn, Abdul Razak passed on in 2004. My seventh sibling, Ramlah aka Nina was long given up for adoption, i.e. when she was only eighteen days old, way back in 1961. My fifth sibling, the hot-headed Rozah, have long disowned me, since 26.11.2010. She's relocated her family to Malacca. My third sibling, Rohaya, is now based in Taree, New South Wales, Australia. Despite the distance we do keep in touch. Hence, I'm left with two more siblings, Rashidah and Rosnita, who're living in our family home in Kempas, Johor Bahru. It is the attitude of these two that I simply fail to fathom. Although they're staying so close by, I feel that they're residing on another planet. They've been keeping very silent for many months already - absolutely no phone calls, no SMSes and no home visits! Their aloofness is baffling! Sometimes, I really wonder what wrong have I done to make them boycott me so much, so to speak. Don't they have an ounce of love left for their eldest sibling? Don't they have any feelings of care and concern left, at all? I'm really sad to say that my maiden family have disintegrated so much and have become so dysfunctional!

And to top it all, my immediate family is also DYSFUNCTIONAL. I won't elaborate, but suffice it to say that I have to contend with nincompoops, who find pleasure in sucking my blood on a daily basis. It's no wonder that I'm bugged by several stress-related illnesses! Oh, poor old me! SIGH!!!!!

.....My precious life matters!.....Indeed it does!.....

A little bit of positive thinking doesn't hurt anyone. Despite having certain health issues to contend with, it's really a good move to make, on my part, that is, to just MOVE ON! My precious life matters! Indeed, it does!

I have been trying my level best, all this while, to look at my adversities squarely in their faces and battle on with my greatest might. From this moment on, I'll have to double my efforts and it's going to be a really BIG  "CHARGE! On to the battlefield!"

I'm fully aware that only I can help myself first, before others can lend their hand. To all my loved ones and friends, thank you for all your gentle words of encouragement and warm hugs. I truly appreciate them. Mmuuaahh.....!

To quote someone's favourite word, I have to continue to be GIGIH!

I'm still recovering from the aftermath of the highly traumatic E-Coli Sepsis Syndrome. Among the after-effects that I have to contend with are chronic fatigue, stomach flatulence, aching shoulders and weak legs. Being bugged with these discomforts daily is no joke at all, that much I can tell you. Nonetheless, I'm trying my level best to ward off these 'sickening feelings' by following a revised eating regimen. I avoid all the 'angin' foodstuffs like the plague and I move more these days, by walking in the mornings and evenings. These, coupled with the endless household chores that I have to tackle, do help to ensure that the days that I have to go through will be more bearable.

My two other chronic ailments are also bringing me down, sometime or other. The 'imaginary'(?) aches and pain, here, there and everywhere, are dampeners too, needless to say. And, having to PU endlessly and in large amounts too, is certainly no laughing matter. However, like it or not, I will have to face all these adversities, straight in their faces. I have to make the best of my conditions, because at the end of the day, I'm fully aware that they are all Allah SWT's gifts for me, for which I'm truly grateful.

To quote someone, I have to continue to be GIGIH! in the face of all these odds. And that's what I intend to do, InsyaAllah.....