It's the 4th of August 2012 today. It's certainly a very special day for me. I turn a year older today, three years after I crossed the 'Diamond Birthday Threshold'. Syukur Alhamdulillah. This date also marks the third anniversary of my maiden CT treatment session. The first blood sample was taken on this date three years ago. Again, Syukur Alhamdulillah, that I've been given a 'new lease of life' by Allah SWT.
Upon reflection, my life has been a balance of the GOOD, the BAD and the UGLY. I enjoyed a happy and carefree childhood, I enjoyed my days in school and varsity and I enjoyed most parts of my working life. Family relationship and relationship with friends and relatives were GOOD and worth remembering and treasuring.
Towards the end of the 1970s, following the demise of my beloved parents, 'things' began to turn BAD. Relationships seemed to stink and family ties began to disintegrate. The so-called 'nest' that I had built has turned out to be an empty and meaningless one. As the new millennium dawned, things started to become UGLY. Siblings (what remained of the original nine) started disowning each other. So much so that today, I can't help but feel 'sibling-less' at most times.I've also lost most of my friends and relatives due to a couple of sickening reasons. I just seem to float around where relationships are concerned...neither here nor there. It's atrociously sad, honestly!
Despite everything, I can't deny the fact that I feel blessed. Perhaps, I've been given all the bad and ugly stuff, to serve as tests from Allah SWT. My endurance, patience, strength and resilience are being tested to the fullest and I'm proud to say that I'm still 'standing' to this day, despite all the odds.
My fervent hope and prayer at all times is that I'll be blessed with 'continued good health', and that 'things' will straighten themselves out sooner or later and happiness and joy in the true sense of the word can be called mine, unconditionally. InsyaAllah. Only Allah SWT knows what actually is good for me. I reckon the fact that He only tests those He actually loves holds true for 'puny' me.
Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku
HambaMu bersyukur diatas segala anugerah dan kurniaanMu selama ini.
Ameen, Ameen, Ya Rabbal Al-Ameen.....
The above photo was snapped yesterday, 13 Ramadan 1433H/2nd August 2012, about 45 minutes before 'berbuka' time. At that point in time, my Princess a.k.a. Mama Dilah was still not feeling 100% well. The 'irritating' cough was still prevalent, though of a much lesser intensity and she still felt slightly feverish. The prescribed cough mixture , needless to say, made her feel extremely groggy. Hence, sleep has been her constant companion during the last few days.
This morning, she went for a review check-up. Syukur Alhamdulillah, her doctor concluded that her health has improved. She was given another course of antibiotics though, but the cough mixture and the fever tablets needed to be consumed only when necessary. Hopefully, she can continue with her fasting tomorrow, InsyaAllah.
As for my Bijou Boy, thus far, he's doing fine, Syukur Alhamdulillah. May his health continue to be a-okay so that he can fast for the entire fasting month. The only "seasoned casualty" in this household is, who else, but its 'head'. Never in the last 35+ years since he became the household head, that he managed to observe fasting for the full duration. Hmmmm, I don't know.....but, it's sad, really.....
Hari Raya Aidil Fitri preparations wise, my Princess and I have decided to purchase just a few types of cookies made by her friends. We've opted not to join the maddening crowd at Plaza Angsana or any other outlets, to hunt for Raya delicacies, cookies etc. We'll only be looking out for our Hari Raya clothes, which will be of the 'orange-ish hue' this year. Reckon we'll be cooking the usual Hari Raya dishes, namely 'instant' ketupat, chicken rendang, sayur lodeh and sambal kacang for our 1st Syawal breakfast. We'll be playing it by ear with regards to the menu for the subsequant Raya days.
Dear NEGATIVITY,
You have caused me countless
nights of worry, shame and
regrets
and I'm now letting you go...
I have something new in
my life now...
POSITIVITY! It gives me
happiness, joy and all the possibility of a
wonderful future.
So Goodbye NEGATIVITY...
with no regrets,
ME...
[Gracias to "Lifes's Cheerleader" for this beautiful letter.]
There is one occurrence during this holy month of Ramadan that I particularly cannot 'stomach'. It occurs year in and year out, sad to say. Well, it concerns Mr Head of the Household. Since time immemorial till this very day, he is still displaying the 'extravagant streak' that is in him, during this holy month, when we are all supposed to practise restraint and be thrifty. Day in and day out he'll be visiting the Ramadan Bazaars to purchase almost anything that catches his fancy. Everything seems delicious to him and he'll come back laden with all the purchases, sometimes enough to feed an army. Well, there are only four of us at home and we definitely cannot finish everything that is served on the table. So you can guess what the outcome will be, right?
This sad state of affairs has never failed to bring tears to my eyes. Many a time have my Princess and I reminded him not to overspend and purchase only what we wish to taste and consume. Sad to say, all our pleas and gentle reminders have fallen onto his deaf ears. At times, when his mood is bad, he will make caustic remarks like "Kau jangan bising-bisinglah! Aku beli semua ni, AKU yang nak makan." Ya Allah! Exactly how much can he possibly eat? He, being a very senior citizen of 74 years.....Sometimes, I just cannot help thinking that his behaviour is worse than that of a young child. It's sad, really, really sad.....
Mama Dilah
Bijou Boy
It's the 10th day of the holy month of Ramadan today. Mother Time seems to be whizzing by so fast. Before we know it, the month of Syawal 1433H will be dawning upon us. Conditions in this household have been fair, thus far. Only my Princess has been under the weather since a couple of days ago. She's been bugged with fever and an irritating cough. Medications are aplenty and needless to say they are sleep inducing. Sincerely hope that she'll be on the mend 100% soon.
As for the 'apple of my eye', Bijou Boy.....Well, Syukur Alhamdulillah, he's doing just fine. He's almost completing ten days of fasting. I pray that he can complete the whole month without any hitches. InsyaAllah.....
Coming to yours truly, Syukur Alhamdulillah, I've been able to fast without much of a hassle. My only problem is that at times, I'll be overwhelmed with extreme sleepiness. Perhaps the loss of my usual amount of 'beauty sleep' and the slowing down of my 'vigorous' activities are the culprits.....However, my gut feeling tells me that the consumption of extra milk during the past week or so, has made me extra groggy. MILK..the SEDATIVE? Oh, I don't know.....
Anyhow, we're just taking things easy, one day at a time. No thoughts just yet about the Hari Raya preparations. One thing is for sure though, the preparations will be on a very modest scale. As always we'll be in our 'Austerity Drive Mode'.
Yours Truly
Much as I tell myself NOT to EVER succumb to this unhealthy syndrome, I did fall victim to it yet again, lately. Since mid May 2012, I have been bugged by several health issues (imaginary or real, only Allah SWT knows and He's certainly not telling). I won't go into detail though, but it's sufficient to say that what I went through and 'FELT', seemed to be so VERY REAL. The 'goings-on' within my maiden family plus added stress and tension provided by another quarter, worsened matters. So much so that when I went for my monthly routine medical check-up a few days back, I found that my BP reading had 'sky rocketed'.
I've been telling myself, YET AGAIN, that I have 'to take all the bulls by their horns and lead them back to Spain', so to speak. Hahaha..... I MUST NOT let all these unnecessary balderdash overwhelm and haunt me. It's definitely NOT WORTH IT! It is not worth being a victim of the Negative Thoughts Syndrome. After all, I'M A SURVIVOR and I must smile bravely AGAINST ALL THE ODDS! Syukur Alhamdulillah that 'things' turned out a-okay.....
