.....Just Letting Off Steam!.....

 

 

 

 

Not a day passes by that I don't feel some kind of discomfort or other.

 

It's "EITHER THIS OR THAT!"

 

or

 

It's "EITHER THAT OR THIS!"

 

This phenomenon is really getting me down!

 

I'm bushed! 

 



.....Expressing Feelings From The Deepest Core Of Me.....

It's only been ten days into the new year, 2018, and already I'm feeling that there's been absolutely no change whatsoever, in everything, particularly, in this unfortunate situation I'm in. I'm still bogged down with endless chronic pain, from the tip of my hair to the tip of my toes, literally! It is a daily occurrence, honestly! It follows suit that my daily mood will be a nightmare! It's mostly Down, as opposed to being Up! It is sickening, I can tell you! Most times, I have to resort to these three things, (my BFF) to help me get some measure of relief. SIGH! What have I done to deserve such a predicament? Perhaps , never in my life before, have I done anything good! That might just be the reason, and now, I'm paying the price! SAD!

 

 

My BFF



 

 Feeling sad!

.....Sighs Of A Survivor / Keluh Kesah Seorang Survivor .....

 

 

 

Saya telah mendapat gelaran "Survivor" pada 26.6.2009. Kini saya telah memegang gelaran tersebut selama lapan tahun setengah. Sepanjang tempoh tersebut, saya telah menjalani kesemua rawatan yang di wajibkan, serta menghadiri setiap sesi 'follow-up' dengan pakar perubatan serta pegawai-pegawai perubatan yang bertauliah. Saya juga telah menjalani ujian mammogram serta ultrasound, secara berkala. Oh ya, saya telah dianugerahkan penyakit ini oleh Allah SWT, kerana saya mempunyai 'a strong family history'. Saya berasa bersyukur kerana telah dianugerahkan dengan dugaan ini, kerana saya percaya, "Allah SWT only tests His strongest soldiers."

 

Sunnguhpun, saya mempunyai kekuatan yang tersendiri, saya tidak boleh nafikan bahawa adakalanya, saya akan berasa sungguh 'depressed'. Disetiap ambang tahun baru, perasaan saya akan menjadi bercelaru.....kegembiraan dan kesedihan akan bercampukaduk! Dan pastinya, air mata akan bergenang-genang, menanti saat untuk tumpah ke bumi.

 

 Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku, kurniakanlah hambamu ini kekuatan dan kesabaran yang berterusan. Amin, Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin!

 

 

 

 

 



  

.....Just Remembering.....

 

31 December...

On this day in history, forty-one years ago... 

 

 

 

 

Feeling SO sad, as usual!

But do others care?

Of course NOT! 

.....Jottings On The Penultimate Day Of The Year 2017.....

 

 

Syukur Alhamdulillah
Saturday, 30.12.2017

Syukur for everything that He's bestowed upon me,
good or bad, gigantic or puny..
Syukur for each and every dawning of a brand new day..
Syukur for every tick and beat of my heart..
Syukur for the continued functioning of my bodily parts, particularly my thinking faculty..
Syukur Alhamdulillah..
Amin, Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.....



.....SIGH!.....

 

  

I'm just ventilating for the umpteenth time. I'm just reiterating the fact that this is the real me.....an individual, who has to deal with a multitude of health issues. I've had to deal with this situation since way back when, AND within the past eight and a half years, this problem of mine has magnified broad and wide! I have persevered to be strong, but I must admit that it's a very tiring  thing to do, on a daily basis. I have to be a pill popper, whether I like it or not! Yeah, everyone sees what I appear to be, but very few experience what I really am! However, I've never, for once, lost track of the fact that this is all Allah SWT's plan for me, and I have to be grateful for all the blessings and experience. Syukur Alhamdulillah. Ameen. Anyone else, who's in the same predicament as I am?

 

 

 

 

 

 



.....Major Throwback.....

Chronology of events as recorded by NFJ

Wednesday, Nov 13 - Thursday Nov 21 2013

E Coli Sepsis Syndrome

 

PP1, Hospital Sultanah Aminah, Johor Bahru.

Registration Number - 1317382

13.11.2013 (Rabu)
8.30 pm     
Received call dari Hafiz, minta call Kempas
that time was on my way to JB
whatsapp uda untuk pergi rumah & tengokkan Mak Nah. Uda call ambulance.

9.30 pm
ambulance sampai & bawa mak pergi.
OT & A-Ta follow naik kancil.

10.00 pm
arrived home. A-moo and Hafiz @ home.

11.00 pm
arrived HSA @ emergency "zon kritikal". stayed till 5 am.

14.11.2013 (khamis)
Mak di hantar ke Blok Cempaka, C4, katil no 19.
6.30 am - hantar A-moo & A-Ta balik.

9.30 am - Polis datang rumah informed Mak tenat. Dengan tak mandi, tak brush teeth, terus ke HSA.

1.15 pm
doctor ambil air tulang somsom & buat lumbar puncture
Aunty Chah & Uncle Shukor datang tapi x dpt jumpa.
4 pm
 ramai visitor - Halim, Wan, Hani, maknya & eddie. all my friends.
9.30 pm
balik dengan Hafiz.

15.11.2013 (Jumaat)
10.30 am
arrived at HSA, tengok mata terbuka.
11.00 am
kena transfer ICU Selatan (main blok) katil no 27.
tak digalakkan stay, so datang time melawat.

16.11.2013 (Sabtu)
8.15 am
Ga baru tahu cerita.
1.00 pm
Mak sedar. Dah mula menggeliat sikit.
5.00 pm
visitor, Jai, Hani & maknya.

17.11.2013 (Ahad)
1.00 pm
Mak tak ada kat ICU Selatan. Kena transfer ICU Barat, katil no 16. Mak dah boleh bercakap.
Question: Ni hospital mana?
                Macamana tahu ada situ?
                Hafiz mana?
Dah boleh minum susu/soya.
4.30 pm
Mak muntah air lepas minum mineral water
visitor, wan lala & hani
Kena transfer wad lagi!
6.30 pm
sampai wad perubatan perempuan 1 (PP1), katil no 8
Aunty Rocky, Uncle and daughter datang visit.
Stayed sampai 8.00 pm.

18.11.2013 (Isnin)
Nothing much happened. Fever Mak on and off. My 1st night tidor kat wad.

19.11.2013 (Selasa)
Aunty Soon Hwa datang.Buat exercise. 2nd night @ wad.

20.11.2013 (Rabu)
10 am
tiub dibuka. dah boleh start makan solid food.
Kena buli dengan therapist Syed Amir.
1.30 pm
1st bubur Mak.

21.11.2013 (Khamis)
11.00 am
Aunty Lai Peng datang temankan Mak sementara Cik Dla bersilat kat rumah.
2 pm
Aunty Lai Peng call bagitahu Mak dah boleh discharge.
Waiting time.
6 pm
Keluar dari HSA lepas settlekan semua perkara.

THE END.

NB.
1st diagnosis was meningitis on 14.11.2013
at ICU, diagnosed "septic shock"
at PP1, it's called septicaemia

* gonna miss late aunty ayooo & primadona! hahaha....