.....Reminiscing.....

May 13.....Remembering the sad events of 44 years ago, today.....

.....Just Unclogging # 8.....

     Just like last year, at this exact, particular point in time, Depression with a capital 'D', totally overwhelms me. It's as if a HUGE, BIG BOULDER is weighing my heart down. It's so inexplicable, really, but several issues are still playing their roles as the culprits. Firstly, like last year, there are the looming medical follow-ups, which I have to undergo pretty soon. The mere thought of fulfilling these appointments, is enough to give me the shivers! Secondly, the 'on-going situation' revolving around this household and the uncertainty of it all, is enough to give me the jitters! Thirdly, being 'coerced' now, into doing 'certain unthinkable and nerve-wrecking chores' is slowly eating up my sanity! Lastly, the same 'not-so-encouraging' performance, academically-speaking, of a certain being, is also affecting my sense of well-being! Much as I hate to think about all these issues, I still keep on thinking about them. AND much as I resolve to disregard them and ask them to 'go and fly kites', they still make their presence felt deep within, and also, all around me. Ya Allah Ya Rabbi Ya Tuhanku, please bestow upon me the will-power and strength to ignore all these negative thoughts and to withstand the pain that they bring along with them.....Please!

     Healthwise for me, it's been the pits, naturally. All the above-mentioned negative thoughts have triggered quite a bit of 'pain', here, there and everywhere. Are they just mere figments of my imagination? Oh, I don't know! Nonetheless, the usual 'vertigo', 'flatulence' and the 'discomfort' felt in the left underarm region, have really made their presence felt, much to my utter dismay! SIGH! To add the icing upon the cake, so to speak, I was down with diarrhoea for a few days in early May. It was horrible, needless to say!

     

.....Just Unclogging # 7.....

I may be smiling, but.....

It's EXTREMELY STRESSFUL and such a big hassle to drive my car (even in my own vicinity), these days.....what with the never-ending heavy traffic, the nerve-wrecking traffic congestions and the 'sickening' inconsiderate drivers! You wouldn't want to hear the expletives that are uttered by me (most times!), whenever I'm in the driver's seat. God forbid! AND the excruciatingly painful cramps that I sometimes feel, when I'm behind the wheels, almost always serve as the 'bitter pill which I have to swallow', so to speak. This is the main reason why I'm opting to be more house-bound, of late. Sigh! How I wish I could employ a chauffeur, to relieve me of my woes. Fat hopes, Hasnah! Fat hopes!

.....Just Unclogging # 6.....

Yeah, they do come easy to me, of late. (^_^,)

.....Gone, But Never Forgotten.....

The month of April sees the anniversaries of the passing of two persons, who had made a great impact on my life. First, there's Mrs Dawn Parry, my beloved Headmistress in SIGS (both Primary and Secondary schools) from the year 1958 till 1967. Then, there's my BRF (Best Radio Friend), the late NND, who did bring joy to my life in the late '60s, the early '70s and also in the mid '80s. May both their souls rest in peace.....

 The late Mrs Dawn Parry (05.11.1932-19.04.2010)

Allahyarham NND (27.08.1945-25.04.2007)
-AL-FATIHAH-

.....Just Unclogging # 5.....

     Hmmm.....Loneliness with a capital 'L' seems to be my middle name, of late. It always has been actually, but the intensity seems to have magnified itself manifold, as time passes by. Oh, I don't know! I seem to have lost all my friends and relatives since my retirement in 2001, and more so, since August 2002 and the 'blessing', which I received in June 2009 really put the icing on the cake, so to speak. I seem to have withdrawn more and more into my shell, no thanks to certain sickening beings! I'm a recluse of the first degree now! Sigh! I seem to be getting solace only from 'inanimate' things now, rather than from the 'live' ones. The wise often say that "Things Happen For A Reason", but to date, I've simply failed miserably to identify the so-called 'reason' for my being in this indescribably stinking mire. Double sigh! To me, the days just seem to be drifting by.....very slowly at times.....with no one to really talk to and no one to joyfully laugh with.....absolutely no one! It's sad, honestly! Yeah, it's honestly 'damned' hard to be, to stay and to remain positive. It really is 'damned' tiring to be bugged by this 'damned' predicament'!!!!!  

.....JUST SHARING # 12.....

CA Survivor, Jim Willet

" I fall, but I always rise.

I screw up, but I look for the lesson.

I've been hurt, but I'm still here.

I'm a person who is far from perfect,

But I'm always, always thankful.

Because I've learned to recognise the beauty

In the struggle...in the journey. "

( I can definitely relate to these powerful words, Jim. Thank you for the inspiration.)